Friends, Cancer and Laughing Your Ass Off

One of my best friends died of colon cancer 3 years ago. Two of my friends have had mastectomies this summer. These aren’t women in their golden years, but young, vibrant beauties in their 30’s and early 40’s.

Cancer is becoming part of our everyday landscape. Maybe it’s touched your life already. There are countless support groups, a multitude of awareness-raising organizations, and tons of great literature about cancer. Even so, because I’ve learned so much from my friends, I’m compelled to share a few insights myself.

Here are just a handful of thoughts I’ve collected about how to be a good friend, as well as take care of yourself when illness comes along.

1) Be the same friend you’ve always been.
2) Establish your role.
3) Share yourself.
4) Know your boundaries.
5) Laugh, laugh, laugh.

Be the same friend you’ve always been. Everything’s different. And everything’s the same. Your friend make be stepping into her first round of chemo tomorrow, but. . .

How to Tell a Great Guy It’s a No-Go

Ever meet a great guy and by the end of the third date you’re still shoving your hand out for a handshake? Trust me, this is a no-go. Don’t go on a fourth.

It doesn’t matter how kind, compassionate, handsome, smart or financially stable he is. It doesn’t matter how much he seems to like you. Break the news as soon as possible.

When breaking tough news to his mother, Shakespeare’s Hamlet said, “I must be cruel only to be kind so that bad begins and worse remains behind.” This is good advice. If you’re looking for the whole package in a partner—meaning romance, attraction and compatibility—you’re going to figure out pretty much right away if you’re hot for him or not. And if you’re not, keep your integrity. Don’t lie or make excuses. Don’t use the old, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Tell him like it is. He will appreciate it.