Confronting the Boss

A friend asked me the other day, “Have you ever had to confront your boss?”

I laughed. “Yes, pretty much in every job I’ve ever had.” 

I’ve never been afraid to go head-to-head with the boss. Most of the time this just means bringing unknown issues into better view so they can be quickly problem-solved. Sometimes it means a difficult negotiation.

Either way, talking to the boss should never be viewed as a risk to your job security as long as your approach is reasonable and respectful, as long as you "play nice."

In my friend’s case, she wasn’t getting enough hours at her job and was at risk of losing benefits—a scary proposition for a single mother of four.

I listened to her situation. It all came down to better communication. No problem. She was in great standing with the company, with an excellent performance record. But actually, there was a problem. She was angry and was at risk of bringing that anger into the conversation.

First, she felt like she shouldn’t have to ask her boss to give her what she viewed as her basic right as an employee—40 hours a week. "I shouldn't have to beg for it," she said. Second, she felt her livelihood was being threatened, a fear that can evoke strong reactions in the best of times.

Here’s some of the advice I gave her and have given other friends in similar situations.

1. Be professional and impersonal

I advised my friend to deal only with the facts of the situation. She needed to ask her boss what they could do to ensure 40 hours per week. You can’t assume that your boss always has your best interest at heart. Sometimes—most of the time—you have to fight for yourself. Do this by speaking in terms of what’s good for you and the company.

Scars

I became fascinated with scars over a decade ago when my colleague caught her hand in a pair of electric hedge trimmers and needed more than 50 stitches. I photographed her fingers—a crazy, intricate patchwork. Because she was a painter, we collaborated to create beautiful, if not disturbing, portraits a la Alfred Stieglitz, the famous photographer and the lover of Georgia O’Keefe, whose delicate hands where so brilliantly captured in black and white more than 90 years ago. In other words, we made art from a scary accident.

I took those shots of my colleague’s hands just after the injury, and thankfully, the doctor’s handiwork had left only faint lines, marks too subtle for a second round of photos. So though I never photographed her scars, it set me on the path of exploration of scars as metaphor.

We all have a scar somewhere on our bodies, and these scars are usually coupled with a good story. Sometimes the injury is benign, funny, and maybe nostalgic of childhood adventure. Sometimes the injury is more dramatic, the physical event accompanied by an emotional trauma.

Part of the reason I became interested in photographing the visible scars is because I believe there is healing in honoring them. The photo seen here was taken of my friend who had been in a terrible car accident. The experience of taking the photographs—I hope—helped her come to terms her body’s transformation and the general post-traumatic fallout. We also had a lot of fun taking them.